Duo's Musical Montage
by Lady Tanyata
Summary: Duo does some singing when Heero's not at home.
1. Ribbons Down My Back

Disclaimer:- I own no characters whatsoever. This is my first songfic and my first Gundam Fanfic. If anyone has any song requests let me know!

Ribbons Down My Back

It was late in the morning when Duo awoke to an empty bed. He sat up and looked around the room. It was empty as well. He shrugged and got up. He dressed in his usual blacks and opened the top drawer of the chest and pulled out a small tin. He went into the bathroom to wash: that was empty too. Duo shrugged it off and looked into the mirror. His hair was a mess and he wanted to do something new with it. He opened the tin up and pulled out a mass of multi-coloured ribbons. Relena had given him them for his last birthday, as nobody else would buy him accessories for his hair.

His eyes gleamed brightly as he looked over all the coloured ribbons, black, white, green, blue, yellow, purple, grey, brown, red, orange, and pink. He tossed the pink one away and started to braid all the ribbons into his hair. As he did this he began to hum and finally sing:

"_I'll be wearing ribbons down my back this summer._

_Blue and Green and streaming in the yellow sky,_

_So, if someone special comes my way this summer_

_He might notice me passing by._

_And so I'll try to make it easier to find me_

_In the stillness of July._

_Because a breeze might stir a rainbow up behind me_

_That might happen to catch the gentleman's eye._

_And he might smile and take me by the hand this summer._

_Making me recall how lovely love can be._

_And so I will proudly wear,_

_Ribbons down my back,_

_Shining in my hair,_

_That he might notice me."_

Half way through the song Duo had finished braiding the ribbons into his hair and had started to dance throughout his apartment. He did not hear the front door close and Heero watching him in silent fury and embarrassment. As Duo finished the song standing on the top of the sofa, he looked at Heero and fell off.

"Duo, what are you doing?" Heero asked quietly. Not entirely sure as to whether or not he wanted to know.

"Nothing." He mumbled from the floor, a pile of black limbs and multi-coloured ribbons. "Ow. That hurt."


	2. I Feel Pretty

I Feel Pretty

Heero had went out for some food for he and Duo to eat. Duo, alone in the apartment, decided to listen to some music. He turned on the radio and finding nothing that he liked on it decided to change it to the CD instead. A CD buzzed into life as it was changed and Duo decided to give it a try. He pressed the random button and waited for the song to start. As the intro began to play Duo's eyes lit up and he began to dance along to the music. Jumping over furniture and jumping on it as well. As the song began to start he began to sing along. Completely drowning out the sound of the CD.

"_I feel pretty_

_Oh so pretty_

_I feel pretty and witty and gay_

_And I pity any one who isn't me today._

_I feel charming_

_Oh so charming_

_It's alarming how charming I feel_

_And so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real._

_See that pretty boy in that mirror there_

_Who can that attractive boy be_

_Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress,"_

Duo looked uncertain at this part. He could think of no words that would fit for what he was wearing.

"_Such a pretty smile, such a pretty me._

_I feel stunning and I'm prancing_

_Feel like running and dancing for joy_

_Cos I'm loved by a pretty wonderful boy."_

The door slammed shut and Heero was staring at him.

"Duo, now what are you doing?" Duo, positioned as he was last time Heero had caught him singing fell of the sofa again.

"Nothing." He mumbled from the floor as Heero turned off the CD and Duo tried to sit up straight. "Ow. That hurt."

Heero walked into the kitchen and started to put the food he had bought on plates. They were becoming regulars with the take-away down the street. It was hardly surprising as neither of them could cook and they had to eat somehow. Duo followed him into the kitchen once he was able to stand up properly.

"Heero, where'd that CD come from anyway? It's not one of mine, and it wouldn't be one of yours, would it?" Duo looked closely at Heero. His face had gone bright red and he looked ready to kill. Duo began to laugh. "It was yours!" Heero shoved a plate into Duo's hand.


	3. When You're Good to Mama

When You're Good to Mama

Heero was still not home from work and Duo was getting restless. So, he decided to put a DVD on until Heero got home with their food. There was nothing stopping Duo from walking down the street to the take-away, except that the woman who owned it preferred Heero to him and they knew Heero better for it. That and Heero had threatened to kill him if he ever went there again, just because he had got the order wrong.

The DVD buzzed and hummed as the film started. Duo had forgot which one he had put in, so he was pleasantly surprised when he found it was _Chicago_. He had got through some of the songs with ease, finding he lacked the energy to sing or dance along with any of them. But when he heard the drum roll, something inside clicked and he got up and drowned out the DVD with his voice.

"_Ask any of the chickies in my pen  
They'll tell ya I'm the biggest mother hen  
I love 'em all and all of them love me  
Because the system works  
The system called reciprocity..._

Got a little motto  
Always sees me through  
When you're good to Mama  
Mama's good to you!

There's a lot of favours  
I'm prepared to do  
You do one for Mama  
She'll do one for you

They say that life is tit for tat  
And that's the way I live  
So, I deserve a lot of tat  
For what I've got to give  
Don't you know that this hand  
Washes that one too  
When you're good to Mama  
Mama's good to you!

If you want my gravy  
Pepper my ragout  
Spice it up for Mama  
She'll get hot for you

When they pass that basket  
Folks contribute too  
You put in for Mama  
She'll put out for you

The folks atop the ladder  
Are the ones the world adores  
So boost me up my ladder, kid  
And I'll boost you up yours

Let's all stroke together  
Like the Princeton crew  
When you're strokin' Mama  
Mama's strokin' you."

It was here that he realised that he was stroking Quatre and the man looked quite terrified of Duo. Duo laughed awkwardly to try and disguise any embarrassment he was feeling. Heero was looking at his in silent fury and embarrassment that Duo was slowly becoming accustomed too. Trowa looked like he was going to punch Duo at any moment. Heero turned to the other two.

"I'm sorry. He's been like this for a while now. I'm thinking about putting him in counselling." Trowa relaxed slightly and put his arm around Quatre who then shot up into the air. Duo looked at Heero furiously.

"What do you mean put me in counselling?" He demanded to know.

"Exactly what it means. I bumped in Trowa and Quatre on my way home and invited them to tea. Kindly keep your hands off both of them." Duo turned the film off and helped Heero with the food. Trowa tried to calm Quatre down who wanted to leave without eating and Quatre was near breaking point. There was silence throughout the meal and once it was over Quatre ran out of the apartment screaming. Trowa followed closel behind him to make sure he didn't run into traffic and Heero just sat and glared at Duo.


	4. Close Every Door

Close Every Door

It was the dead of night and Heero was tossing and turning about under the sheets. Duo was humming in his sleep and it was driving Heero crazy. At three in the morning Heero had had enough. He got out of bed, grabbed what he could of Duo's hair and dragged him out the room. Duo screamed and woke up as soon Heero began to pull on his hair.

"Heero! That hurts!" Heero kept dragging him by the hair.

"Shut up!" He yelled and Duo looked up at him. Heero dragged him into the living room. "You're sleeping here until you stop humming songs in your sleep." Heero walked away before Duo could look at him with his puppy-dog eyes that for some reason Heero had a hard time saying no too.

"But Heero…" Heero slammed the bedroom door shut before Duo could say anything else. Duo waited for a few moments before crawling to the door. "Heero, it's cold out here. I can't I at least have the duvet?"

"No."

"A pillow?" Duo heard shuffling inside the room and a moment later Heero stood their with Duo's pillows in hand. He threw them at Duo's face knocking him backwards. The door had slammed closed again before Duo could sit upright.

As Heero snuggled down to sleep in the double bed of his own he heard music coming from the other side of the door.

"Now what!" He said as he sat up.

"_Close every door to me_

_Hide all the world from me_

_Bar all the windows and shut out the light"_

Heero moaned, grabbed a pillow, put it over his head and tried to drown the singing. It didn't work. He could still hear through the pillow. It actually sounded louder through the pillow.

"_Do what you want with me_

_Beat me and laugh at me_

_Darken my daytime and torture my night."_

"Beat him? Now that gives me ideas." Heero said to himself, a smirk came across his face as he began to imagine horrible, and not-so-horrible, things being done to Duo.

"_If my life were important_

_I would ask will I live or die_

_But I know the answers lie far from this world."_

"You got that right." Heero muttered. He opened his eyes. Surely the point of all this had been to stop Duo singing, not encouraging it. He sat up and looked at the door venomously.

"_Close every door to me_

_Keep those I love from me…"_

The door opened and Heero stood in the half-light of the moon. Duo sat up straight and looked hopefully at him.

"You can come back in so long as you don't sing or hum anything." Heero warned. Duo nodded his head violently.

"I promise!" He called and jumped into the warmth of the bed. "Erm, Heero. I left my pillows in the other room." Heero walked out the room grumbling to himself about how lazy Duo was and how forgetful. He threw the pillows to Duo and climbed back into the bed. "Thank you." Duo whispered into his ear before snaking his arm around Heero's stomach.


	5. The Internet is for Porn

5 The Internet is for Porn

5. The Internet is for Porn

It was on a rare day that everyone had the day off that they decided to pay a visit to Heero and Duo to see how Duo was after all of his spontaneous singing outbursts and how much Heero was coping with it all.

It was just after lunch when they knocked on the door to their flat. Duo opened the door, his eyes were almost closed. As soon as he saw who was at the door he immediately chirped up and squeezed all three of them into a huge hug.

"I am so glad you are here." He whispered as he continued to hug them. "They are driving me to death. It's so boring and I'm having to behave. It's killing me." Wufei managed to squeeze out of the death-tight embrace Duo was keeping them in.

"Who's here?" He asked.

"You'll never believe it." Duo replied and stopped hugging them, but kept the broad smile plastered to his face. "Come on in." He said and held the door open for them to come into the flat. Wufei entered, ready for any danger that could present itself in the small apartment. Trowa and Quartre gave each other a wary side-long glance before entering the apartment and stopped dead in their tracks.

Duo had been right. They would never have guessed who the visitor was. They looked at each other and turned around, ready to leave. This was one visit they wished they'd stayed home for. As they turned they saw Duo's wide smile stare at them. Their exit blocked, they could do nothing else but take off their coats and sat down on the sofa with soft sighs. This was not going to be pretty. Wufei was still standing in the same spot, staring at the guest. Duo stood in front of him.

"I know exactly how you feel. I answered the door to him." He patted Wufei on the shoulder and led him to chair and pushed him gently onto the seat. Wufei blinked, the blinked again, tried to say something but shook his head.

"When did they become friends?" Trowa asked as Duo sat down beside him on the sofa.

"Beats me. Heero said that they're work colleagues." All four sat staring at Heero's guest.

"This new computer is brilliant." Heero was saying to his guest. "It has a much faster connection than the last one. Plus, with the child protection Duo can't get onto any of his sites and slow the connection speed down." The visitor nodded his head politely.

"What is wrong with my sites?" Duo asked, slightly offended.

"They are nothing but porn." Heero replied, before turning back to his guest and starting talking about the computer. "Plus, now I can find new sites to look at and explore without having to wonder whether the connection is going to break, and I can browse all day and night."

"For porn!" Duo chimed in. Heero cast him a sideways look and ignored him.

"It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light. Thank you so very much for recommending this to me." Heero told his guest. His guest smiled every so slightly that if you blinked at that moment you would have missed it.

"For porn!" Dup said again.

"Duo!" Heero yelled at him.

"What? The internet IS for porn Heero." Duo told him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Heero asked Duo sternly. Talking to him like he was scolding a child.

"Why do you think the net was born, if not for porn?" Duo asked him, ignoring the tone in Heero's voice.

"DUO!" Heero warned.

"Hello Heero!" Duo said cheerfully, smiling as broadly as he could.

"You are ruining my conversation!"

"Sorry Heero." Duo smiled apologetically at Heero's guest.

"Well, if you wouldn't mind please shutting up for a minute so I can finish?" Heero asked politely, with a warning tone to the edge.

"Me no talkie." Duo replied and put an imaginary zip across his mouth. During all of this the other three had gone completely unnoticed by Heero and had tried reasonably well to make themselves apart of the furniture.

"Good." Heero turned back to his visitor. "I'm glad we have all this new technology-"

"For porn!" Duo interrupted and quietened down as soon as he saw the glare in Heero's eyes.

"Which gives us untold opportunity-"

"For porn!" Heero glared at Duo with all he had and Duo retreated into the sofa. It was at this time that Heero noticed that they had other visitors now, and he smiled slightly at each of them, wondering why he was the one getting odd looks off them.

"Right from your own desktop." Heero told his guests.

"For--" Trowa clapped one of his hands over Duo's mouth before he could finish and smiled politely at Heero as if nothing had happened. As Heero turned back to his conversation Troaw gave Duo a warning look before taking his hand off Duo's mouth.

"You can research, browse, and shop until you've had enough and you're ready to stop."

"FOR PORN!" Duo shouted, unable to contain himself any longer.

"Duo!" Heero warned.

"The internet is for porn."

"Duo!"

"The internet is for porn."

"No. It isn't!" Heero shouted, beginning to lose his cool over the matter.

"The internet is for porn."

"Duo!"

"Me up all night, honking me horn, to porn, porn, porn!"

"That is just gross. You're a pervert." Heero told him, completely disgusted with him and embarrassed that his guest had to hear this.

"Sticks and stones, Heero. Beside, you should know better than the others." With that Heero turned beetroot to his roots and hung his head in complete embarrassment. After a few moments Heero looked up and stared at Duo who was smiling and bouncing on the sofa. Trowa and Quatre looked nervously between the bouncing Duo and the glaring Heero.

"No. You really are a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet."

"Oh really?" Duo replied.

"What?" Heero asked.

"You have no idea. Guys, tell him." Trowa and Quatre looked sympathetically towards Heero and Wufei, finally over the shock of who the guest was, nodded his head.

"The internet is for porn!" They all said together.

"Sorry Heero, but they are right." The guest spoke. Heero looked striken that his visitor felt the same way as his 'so-called' friends.

"The internet is for porn!"

"I masturbate!" The guest spoke again.

"All these guys unzip their flies for porn, porn, porn!" They all sang together.

"The internet is NOT for porn!!" Heero objected thoroughly.

"PORN! PORN! P--"

"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Heero yelled over their chorus. "Now I know for a fact that you, Quatre, check your portfolio and trade stocks online."

"That's correct." Quatre replied, smiling.

"And Wufei, you buy things on ." Heero told him.

"Sure." Wufei replied.

"And Trowa, you keep selling your possessions on Ebay." Heero turned to Trowa.

"Yes I do!" Trowa replied. Quatre cast him a look.

"And Zechs, you sent me that sweet online birthday card." Heero said turning to his guest.

"True!" He replied.

"Oh, but Heero, what do you think we do after? Hmm?" Duo asked him. Heero turned to Zechs again.

"Yeah." He replied.

"EEEWWWWW!" Heero replied.

"The internet is for porn!" They all said together.

"Gross!"

"The internet is for porn!"

"I hate porn!" Heero said again, and hung his head in denial.

"Grab your dick and double click."

"I hate you guys!" Heero said and banged his head against the table.

"For porn! Porn! Porn!"

"I'm just going to leave." Heero said starting to get up.

"Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn."

"I hate the internet."

"Porn, porn, porn, porn!"

"The internet is for-" Duo began on his own.

"The internet is for PORN!" They all ended together.

Heero got up and walked out of the apartment. The others all turned to look at Zechs, who, without Heero close by, was starting to shift uncomfortably under their gazes.

"Well, it's been an interesting afternoon. I have to be going now." He said and walked out. Duo instantly cheered up and jumped up and down.

"I don't know why Heero said he hated porn. He keeps his under the bed." Duo told them as Heero came back into the room.

"DUO!" Heero yelled and started to chase Duo around the apartment trying to kill him.


	6. Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair

6.

I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair  


Whilst Heero was out at the shops, finding something that the two of them could eat, Duo decided that it was a good time to have a shower ad wash his hair. After all, he could not let it get too dirty, so washing it every other day seemed the perfect solution. As Duo began his shower he began humming to himself. Last night when Heero had been at work Duo had taken the time to watch an old favourite of his, and now he had the songs stuck in his head. Not long after he had started humming, Duo found himself singing, especially when he put the shampoo into his hair and began to massage it into his scalp.

"_I'm gonna wash that man right outa my hair,  
I'm gonna wash that man right outa my hair,  
I'm gonna wash that man right outa my hair,  
And send him on his way._

I'm gonna wave that man right outa my arms,  
I'm gonna wave that man right outa my arms,  
I'm gonna wave that man right outa my arms,  
And send him on his way.

Don't try to patch it up  
Tear it up, tear it up!  
Wash him out, dry him out,  
Push him out, fly him out,  
Cancel him and let him go!

I'm gonna wash that man right outa my hair,  
I'm gonna wash that man right outa my hair,  
I'm gonna wash that man right outa my hair,  
And send him on his way." 

It was at this unfortunate moment that Heero returned home, arms full of bags with groceries. He had expected Duo to be in the sitting room, ready to help him with the shopping, not off somewhere singing another damn show tune. Heero shuck his head in annoyance as he moved into the kitchen and put the bags on the counter, ready to unpack. Duo's singing could be heard clearly by him and even though he was annoyed with the other man, he could not be bothered to go and tell him to shut up. He gritted his teeth and bared it as best he could as he put the shopping away. Unable to drown out the words that Duo sang.

_"If a man don't understand you,  
If you fly on separate beams,  
Waste no time, make a change,  
Ride that man right off your range.  
Rub him out of the roll call  
And drum him out of your dreams._

Oho! If you laugh at different comics,  
If you root for different teams,  
Waste no time, weep no more,  
Show him what the door is for.  
Rub him out of the roll call  
And drum him out of your dreams.

You can't light a fire when the woods are wet,  
No!  
You can't make a butterfly strong,  
Hmm, hmm!  
You can't fix an egg when it ain't quite good,  
And you can't fix a man when he's wrong!

You can't put back a petal when it falls from a flower,  
Or sweeten up a fellow when he starts turnin' sour  
Oh no! Oh no!

If his eyes get dull and fishy,  
When you look for glints and gleams,  
Waste no time,  
Make a switch,  
Drop him in the nearest ditch!  
Rub him out of the roll call,  
And drum him out of your dreams  
Oho! Oho!

I went to wash that man right outa my hair,  
I went to wash that man right outa my hair,  
I went to wash that man right outa my hair,  
And sent him on his way.

I went to wash that man right outa my hair,  
I went to wash that man right outa my hair,  
I went to wash that man right outa my hair,  
And send him on his way!"

Before Duo could even register what was happening, the bathroom slammed open and Heero stood fuming in the doorway. Duo grinned sheepishly at him. "What man are you singing about Duo?" Heero asked through gritted teeth. Duo began rubbing at the back of his neck, whilst still grinning at Heero.

"No man. No man at all. I was just singing man." Duo replied. Heero did not look amused or looked as if he believed him, but instead of drawing it out into a fight, Heero walked away, leaving Duo to wipe the grin off his face and sigh. "Guess I'm sleeping on the sofa again."


	7. I Could Do Without You

7.

I Could Do Without You

Heero had been rather quite all week and Duo was beginning to feel uneasy about the unresolved tense that had materialised in the apartment. He had no idea where it had come from. Heero had returned home in a foul mood one night and not snapped out of it yet. Duo approached him carefully.

"Heero?" He asked cautiously, not knowing what the young man might do. "Are you ok?" Heero's eyes snapped up to meet Duo's.

"I've been like this all week and now you decided to ask me if I'm all right?" Heero nearly shouted at him. "Some friend you are." Duo pouted at the words. He had wanted to ask Heero when he had first came back in this mood, but the man had looked so scary that he had decided that it would be better to wait to see if it subsided. Of course it had not.

"I'm sorry Heero. Really I am. I did want to ask you, but you're just too scary when you're like this. There's no telling what you might do." Heero stood up and stared at Duo.

"A true friend would ask me what's wrong no matter how scary looking I am." With that he walked away.

"Please Heero. I really am sorry." His voice sounded pathetic and he looked even worse with his big puppy dog eyes begging for forgiveness. Heero stared at him coldly.

"Sorry just doesn't cut it anymore Duo." Heero turned and began to walk towards their bedroom when a vase came crashing past his head and exploded off the wall. "In the summer you're the winter, in the finger you're the splinter! In the banquet you're the stew, say! I could do without you!"

Heero suspected he knew what was happening but this time he just could not resist. "In the garden you're the gopher, in the levi's you're the lopher! Like an overturned canoe, well! I could do without you!"

"You can go to the Sanc Kingdom, take the hack to Hackensack, hey, I'll never ring a bell for ya, or yell for ya to come back!"

"In the question you're the why, in the ointment you're the fly!"

"Though I know some things are indispensable, like a buck or two, if there's one thing I can do without, I can do without you!"

"In the barrel you're a pickle, in the goldmine you're a nickel! You're the tack inside my shoe, yes! I can do without you!"

"In my bosom you're a dagger, you're a mangy carpetbagger! In the theatre you're the "BOO"! I can do without you!"

"You got charms, they ain't bewitchin' me. You've a face no one would paint!"

"I've got the darndest itch in me to be wherever you ain't!"

"In the bullfrog you're the croak."

"In the forest, poison oak!"

"Though I know some things are necessary, my half-pint buckaroo, if there's one thing I can do without, I can do without –"

"You're a knothead!"

"You're a faker!"

"You're a bonehead!"

"Troublemaker!"

"I can do without you!" They both yelled at each other at the same time. Duo bit his lip as he thought back to one of his lines. Heero was smiling slightly. Both were out of breath.

"I'm sorry." Heero whispered and Duo broke into a huge grin.


End file.
